Sunday, June 7, 2015

SHOWING HEART


Recently, Tony McHale, a member of Stillmeadow and one of the emerging young leaders of our church, quickly made his way to the front of the Worship Center. I had just dismissed the congregation and I wasn’t even completely off the platform yet when he confronted me excitedly.
“Pastor Bud, My cousin Leighann just published this book and Meg and I want to give it to you to read. It’s an awesome story. We hope you enjoy it.”

I thanked him, of course and assured him I would read it before the summer was over and that it was definitely on my summer reading list. (Yes, I do have a list of books I plan to read. The list helps me prioritize and stay on task. Reading is a big part of my “rule of life”. It’s one of the ways God speaks to me.)

Well, I’ve already picked it up. Seriously, I’m on page four and it’s already been a blessing to me. I’ll take a moment to set it up for you.

Leighann and he husband, Henry are expecting their third child. It’s rather early in the pregnancy when they learn their unborn son suffers from “ectopia cordis”, a rare condition that means the heart is “not where it is supposed to be.” In this case “it’s sitting outside his body.” The doctor concludes: “What we do know is this heart isn’t compatible with life. It won’t function properly.”

Now, I am sure I will write more than one reflection on this book. But I want to stop here. Yes, on page 4 . . . and reflect on some things I’ve learned already.
1. We’re wired differently. I need to consider these differences carefully as it relates to “processing” life’s experiences. Some of my friends are more extroverted, and move immediately to relationships in working through stuff. And some are more introverted and need more private time and space. I need to respect these differences.
2. I need to give my friends opportunities to process things with me but not force it upon them, even if I feel they “need to”. Spiritual friends are more like midwives then they are surgeons.
3. I need to remind myself that friends let one another know they are approachable . . . in their time and in their way. After all, it’s not about me . . . it’s not about how I think they should be handling things. It’s about them. My role is to let them know I care . . . that I’m ready to talk when they are . . . when they need to. And then give them the space they need to work from internal to more external processes.

That’s what friends do.

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