In “My Stroke of Luck”, Kirk Douglas writes about lessons he has learned about life and God after the stroke:
My stroke has taught me to be more compassionate, to work harder at my relationships with my loved ones, to value friendship more, to be aware of the world around me, to slow down and to have a richer spiritual life.
Because it was difficult and tiring for me to talk, I began to read much more. I no longer had to spend my time evaluating movie scripts, because few were offered. So I began to read anything and everything about Judaism. The more I studied the Bible, the more intrigued I became with Jewish people, so stubborn, trying the patience of God. Of course, it was a hard journey through the desert, but they didn’t stop complaining: “We would have been better to stay as slaves in Egypt.” After ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, how could they say that? Moses left for a short time to climb Mount Sinai and receive the Ten Commandments. But oh, no, they couldn’t wait. They melted all of their gold jewelry and made a golden calf to worship. How could God continue to be patient with them? With me?
Then came Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the holiday that frightens me. And this was the first time since my stroke. At the close of this solemn day, a day of affliction, the Book of Life is sealed. In it is inscribed who shall live and who shall die. And I wonder what category am I in?
Although most of the service was conducted in Hebrew, the prayer book included the English translation of the prayers. When I was a kid, the synagogue prayers were all just in Hebrew. At Hebrew school, I learned how to read Hebrew, but I never understood what I was saying.
Now, as I stood up, reading the English translation of the service, I was astonished. Almost every line was an adoration of God:
Praise the Lord to whom all praise is due.
Blessed is the Lord our God. Who is like You,
Eternal One? Who is like You, Majestic in Holiness?
You are the First and the Last. Let the glory of God be extolled,
Let His great name be hallowed. Praised be the Lord, our God,
The Lord of all generations. You are holy:
Awesome is your name. You are our Ruler
And our Helper, our Savior and Protector.
Over and over again it made me uneasy. Was that sucking up to God? I don’t think God wants all that adoration. I believe God prefers you to do something good in life.
Tikkun olam is a Hebrew expression that means“fix the world.” It is at the center of a Jewish mystical belief that the world was created broken, and it is up to us to fix it, in any way we can. At the same time, we must remember that “it is not up to us to complete the work, nor are we free to desist from it.”
One of the ways to make this world a better place is to create beauty. I do that every Friday night as I welcome the Sabbath by praying over the candles in candlesticks left by my mother, which she brought over from Russia. They must be well over a hundred years old. In doing that, I am reminded of my mother, I feel closer to God, to my family, and I have increased The Light, even if only for a moment. You can pray in your own way.
I promised to be a “good boy.” I believe God wants me to help others.And so I pray in my own way.
A medieval rabbi once explained prayer with a wonderful parable. When we pray, he said, we think we are changing God. Think of a man in a rowboat who is pulling himself to shore. To someone who does not know what is going on, it might appear that he is really pulling the shore closer to himself. Similarly, when we pray, it may appear that we are trying to pull God closer to us. But we are really pulling ourselves closer to God.
So, what do you think? Have you had similar life lessons? Dis-similar? Feel free to share with me at comments box below!
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